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Want to be the most interesting person in the room?

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Well, whether you're introverted or extrovertedit doesn't really matter: There are things one must do to have the kind of captivating conversations that will attract others to your social circle. Before I get to the seven questions that will ignite Looikng conversations, here are three principles you must apply first or you may as well toss in the towel now.

Most of us don't have a good internal barometer for knowing when we bore others, since we think we're so fascinating. Kind of the Story somenoe My Life: Be brief and be positive. Another way to tell if you are about to put someone to sleep is to listen for questions. If the other person is not asking you questions, that should clue you in that your conversation is going south; it may be time to cut your story short and ask the other person a Looking for part time boyfriend. Several studies published in the Greater Good Science Center seem to agree that curious people have better relationships.

The research suggests that curious people connect better, cope better with rejection, and enjoy socializing more. Looking for someone to share exciting moments with

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In fact, other people are more easily attracted and feel socially closer to individuals that display curiosity. It's the secret juice of relationships," stated Kashdan in Greater Good. Fellow Inc. What does this person think, what makes him 'tick,' how does she do that, what does he want to have happen, how does she view the world?

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And people with humility understand that they don't have all the answers and that each person they meet, each experience, has something to teach them. It's good to have a few go-to stories you can pull out of your hat when you sense a conversation losing momentum. Have stories you can share that are well-rehearsed, meaning, they've been tested with other audiences and found to be reliably funny, entertaining, informative, or engaging.

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Scott Adams suggests putting your focus on stories about other people, rather than things, because most of us find human behavior fascinating. You meet someone for the first time, get his or her name, and strike up a conversation. The next thing out of your mouth may be:.

Instead of asking the casual, basic stuff we're all tired of answering, hit 'em up with these great conversational questions, beginning with my No.

Some may require you to start with more basic stuff as you build rapport and put someone at ease.

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And it Looking for someone to share exciting moments with without saying: Return serve by answering these yourself. This is open-ended enough to trigger an intriguing story--a journey to a foreign country, living out of a van while touring in a rock band, getting funded for the startup of your dreams, a special God-given talent used for improving lives, sshare.

This question puts the conversation on a positive note right off the bat, giving the other person a chance to reflect on something he or she is excited about. This is another great question that invites the speaker to share on a deeper level, which builds momentum and rapport quicker.

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Obviously, a few casual questions before this one helps set the mood for hearing about a profound moment or transition in Reds horny women utah creek person's life. A book that has made an impact can lead to a more personal and inviting conversation because of the book's life-changing effect. Asking this question will deepen your connection as you understand how the book altered the person's life somekne some way.

It also leads to asking interesting follow-up questions.

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Asking this is a great way to introspectively draw out a unique story from someone. We all dreamed about being something growing up--a doctor, a police officer, an astronaut, a super hero, and so on.

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Connect the dots to the present by asking if he or she still has those same aspirations as an adult including being a super hero! For me, it's too obvious: Who really killed JFK? Perhaps for the person you just asked, it's "Is there a God?

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This is one of those questions I call "peeling the conversational onion. It'll tell you what defines them, what motivates them, what they're passionate about, and whether their work is their calling or purpose.

ahare It may also trigger a different, more thought-provoking response: Some people aren't happy in their jobs. By asking, you may be in the position to assist or mentor a person through a career or job transition.

Did you notice a refreshing pattern in these questions? Perhaps you're not used to it, but you take the initiative and make the conversation about the other person.

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People love to talk about themselves--if they have something worth talking about that adds value to the conversation. Once they know you're not a wacko, by asking first, they'll appreciate your showing interest. This selfless act of putting the spotlight on someone else too you the more interesting person in the room.

Make a habit of being to the point and not dragging on and on. People who talk slowly, pause a long time before responding, and process their thoughts in mid-sentence will lose the listener faster than you can spell b-o-r-i-n-g.

17 Things Extremely Happy People Say Every Day | Time

Stay upbeat in conversation beware of polarizing topics like religion and politicsmomments avoid being serious, monotone, or like a bump on a log--show emotions, laugh at people's jokes, smile when they smile, and make light of awkward situations.

The next thing out of your mouth may be: What's up? What do you do? Where are you from?

If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask? Like this column?

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